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Ahoy! It be National Talk Like a Pirate Day, and in honor of this fine occasion I’ve taken the trouble of translating a comment from this blog into pirate talk. Later I plan on mailing out eyepatches.

*****

“Arr, me ship be silver. T’ same color as every other ship in t’ world. I be constantly losin’ it in grocery store dockin’ lots. T’ only thin’ that helps me locate it be t’ mauve and frankly kinda moldy whalebone “Lippy Parrot o’ Love” on t’ rudder, a memento from me first kinda sorta date with me first mate. Lippy Parrot o’ Love be a refugee from a Wendy’s sprogs meal. Arr, he must be some seventeen years old now (Oh me gawd, I be OLD!) and be kinda scorched lookin’. He’s perched on t’ rudder o’ every sin’le ship t’ matey and I have owned together. Kind o’ an evil eye wardin’ off sea danger and other assorted catastrophe. He frequently goes flyin’ when I turn a particularly tight coastline or drop me anchor too smartly.”

Sincerely, One-Eyed Scurvy Wee

  • Anonymous

    oh my god, Colin. HA!
    -penelope

  • Anonymous

    Arrr ME GAWD, Dullaghan! I done pissed me panterloons!!!! And then I sloshed over me tankard of ale and accidentally poked out me only eye. Blood and piss and ale and eyeball everywhere! There be much swabbing of the decks to be done now… but I must tell yer… You be a fine wordsmithy, Dirty One Armed Dullaghan! Arrr, indeedy!

    xo No-Eyed Scurvy Wee (as dictated to and submitted by Flinty Finnegan Jane, the Hamtongued Pirate Pooch)