I get some of the best blog spam.
“Thanks so much for this particular statement,” said one “Kristy Katzaman” in response to the post “Water Is Beading Off This Bitch” a couple of months ago. “…I particularly preferred going through it and will discuss it with my colleagues,” she added, referring to a post I published back in 2004.
Well, good, Kristy. I hope your colleagues also “particularly prefer” going through it. Maybe you should sit down with “Wein Muller,” who on December 2nd opined (on the same post) that “The topic … is totally new for me, but it sounds very interesting.” Wein added, “I have to read more about this topic and make me my own opinion,” but hey — that’s where you come in, Kristy! You’re the perfect one to get him up to speed on Rain-X and funny wives. I’ll just wait here while you two figure it out.
Sheesh. The title of this post was actually furnished by one “Nobeequitte” back in November, commenting on the “Public Service Offer” in which I pledged to provide a Vedic “Rock On!” to anybody who asked for one. Remember that?
I doubt Nobeequitte does. No, he (or she) (or it) has probably moved on by now, proffering gems of insight like “Hmmm, interesting.” That’s one that “outdoor water features” came up with back in August.
I mark them all as spam, naturally. But I do get a kick out of them. It’s kind of fun to ponder what makes certain posts more attractive to these webcrawling robots than others, and I still get a little frisson of excitement wondering what will repeat the feat. (Will it be this one? Am I destined to get a hefty dose of “Интересно, а почему так редко блог обновляете?” in my inbox, flagged for my approval tomorrow morning? We’ll see.)
My favorite so far, though, I must say, belongs to Somerlinkurera, and was submitted at 3:17am on 2011/01/04. (My goodness, you must get some rest, Mr. Spambot!).
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the handcrafted craftiness of a “Nice topic, I concur with u” or a sly “I’m still learning from you, while I’m trying to achieve my goals” — either of which could probably slip through and get approved to appear on the site (with their shady links embedded, of course) were I more susceptible to bulk-mailed flattery. It’s just that, in this case, I have to applaud the direct route.
“Somerlinkurera,” a name conjured from goodness knows where, took a long, thoughtful look at my post on funny signs I’ve seen around and offered the following response, which I’m sure took many minutes to formulate and wordsmith:
“So, you wanna buy some drugs?”
Sorry, Somerlinurera. You get the prize, but I don’t want to buy your drugs. And I’m not including your link here. Guess you’ll just have to find some other way to draw traffic to your shady pharmaceutical operation.
Hey, though, here’s an idea: Why not try writing something people want to read?