Home shopping is generally said to take a few weeks or months, involving much traipsing and peeking and weighing of options, but really it’s a lifelong process. Everywhere you go, from childhood onward, you’re mentally filing away architectural preferences.

“Wow, check out the built-in bookcases around Evan’s fireplace. I wish I had a bungalow. (Age 22)”

“Hey, look at what this vaulted ceiling does for the light here in Aunt Mary’s Great Room… (Age 27)”

“Oh man, Mike’s secret Nintendo coat-closet hideout is awesome! (Age 8)”

Then comes a day when you realize that you, yourself, could soon actually have a house of your own, and it changes your perspective significantly. The excitement spurs you to get more critical, to try editing the wishlist down to a manageable size. You start to face some harsh realities.

* Awesome Fireman’s Pole = Massive Insurance Liability

* Secret passageways are kind of impractical unless your house is really big. You might save a little time with a shortcut to the kitchen via the crawlspace, but who wants to show up for breakfast covered in cobwebs?

* A five-story entryway, with assorted balcony overlooks dotting the soaring walls and a massive glass pyramid at the top, could feel a little cold and overwhelming and irritate the neighbors. An architect friend actually pointed that out to me a little while back, puncturing in one comment what had been my fantasy home for twenty years.

In the end, for Penny and me, the list came down to a couple of important factors, seemingly at odds with each other: I really want a view of the woods; she really wants a pool.

I picture a modest little place, contemporary in design, you know, but homey. Someplace that feels like a haven from the elements, but with an appreciation for its natural setting. You know, maybe like this one:

I could see us being happy there, even though I don’t see a good spot for a pool. And Penny can appreciate that — she’s on board with the whole architectural masterpiece thing. She just wants enough room for her office, any children in the future, and the visiting mothers-in-law that are sure to follow. Mainly, though, she’s all about the pool.

Her vision of our ideal home is a little different from mine.

And that looks pretty nice too. But even with only these two criteria, I can foresee us having some trouble locating a property in our price range.

(to be continued)