Colin Dullaghan


A Dirty Trick By General Mills

Penelope: Which do you want – Granola With Raisins or Lucky Charms?

Colin: I’ll go granola.

Penelope: I think I want Lucky Charms… no, I should be healthy and eat granola too.

Colin: Okay.

Penelope [reading the side of the granola box]: Wow, this has, like, ten grams of fat.

Colin: Really?

Penelope: And 34 grams of carbohydrate-y stuff! Man, remember when we did that diet where we only got 40 a day?

Colin [holding stomach, wincing]: Yes, I remember.

Penelope: Man. I guess this granola has fiber and stuff, but sheesh. I’d have thought it would be healthier than that.

Colin: Yeah.

Penelope: Holy Monkey! The Lucky Charms only have one fat gram! And look at this: 25 carbs! Compared to the granola, Lucky Charms is health food!

Colin: No wonder they never catch that leprechaun.

Penelope: …Lotta sodium, it says… but, here: they have the exact same amount of sugar! Look, right here on the side of the box!

Colin: Yes, I see that. And that’s before you drizzle honey all over the granola.

Penelope: What jerks!

 

7 Comments on A Dirty Trick By General Mills

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  1. To The Moon says:

    I eat cereal almost every day- sometimes twice a day. And I get the non-sugary kind- like garnola. I always assume I’m eating healthier than if I was eating a real meal. Maybe not! I guess I’m just gonna get fat off of cereal b/c I refuse to give it up!

  2. Thomas says:

    I can see you clicking your heels like that damned little man-in-green.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Carbs and fat are healthier if you pair them with fiber. And granola has oats which is good for cholesterol. And Lucky Charms have food coloring. I can’t buy Lucky Charms because if I do I will eat the whole box in 1 sitting.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I say screw it, eat what you want.
    vz

  5. Anonymous says:

    Are you advocating sex with cereal?
    Because that’s gross.

  6. Anonymous says:

    plus you know, they’re like magically delicious and everything!

    xo Wee

  7. Luke Renner says:

    ok… per serving or what?

    I want more details!

    Cheers!
    Luke

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