Colin Dullaghan

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
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“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
***************
“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
***************
“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
***************
“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
***************
“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

The following was viciously cut and pasted without any kind of permission or authorization from this site: http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/
***************
“After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe.”
“That’s unbelievable!”
“Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I [...]

All the way to work today, which constitutes about twenty minutes, I turned over the same thought in my head, and that’s unusual. For me.
“…I also think that the magic of our State Fair, or any state fair, is that it can be enjoyed by naïf and cynic alike, at levels both basic (“Hey, [...]

“My God, look – there, in the mirror. It’s me, but the reflection is *right there*, not behind plastic or metal but right there, naked and staring. And it’s not blurry at all. Look!
“*This,* like this, is how I’ll spend the rest of my life?.. see myself this way for the rest of my life?.. [...]

So I got that LASIK surgery done to my eyeballs. They pinned my eyes open, cut a flap on the front, sculpted my corneas with a laserbeam so that images would focus on my retina instead of in front of it, flapped the flap shut and sent me on my way. Now I see fine. [...]

“Oh. Okay. Um, yeah … I’ll just shut up now.”

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

In shrewd preparation for future moments of self-doubt – the next one’s due around 3 p.m., or thereabouts – I shall now immortalize for later reference a thing which was said by me, yesterday, and has been more or less agreed upon as a funny thing to have said.
Ahem.
A coworker or mine, a Brand [...]

I’ve noticed lately a strange recurrence, one which – like a watermark on the ceiling or a coworker’s webbed feet – is easy to miss, then impossible to ignore.
Everyone’s familiar with the two-by-four – it’s the stud you’re aiming for when you hammer a nail, the lumber you picture when you picture lumber, the [...]

As I’m typing this, Penelope is thundering back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room and back, over and over again, and Vince is chasing her. Her feet are bare, his tongue is wagging. And I – I’m wrapping this up so I can go play with them both.
Wham! Wham! Wham!

I’ve had a lot of time lately to reflect on the idea of having no money; it gives me something to do now that I’m no longer buying things like chicken tacos at Chili’s or 99-cent songs at the iTunes music store. Here’s my first discovery: *of course* poor people seem wise and zenlike, as [...]

The saying goes, “if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention,” and I like that saying. I really do. It’s got that reassuring circular nature going, where the first thing you sense is the tone, and then a millisecond later you pick up on the meaning, prompting you to calculate the personality of the source, [...]